Kindness Matters

Almost four years ago, my little Haley was born. She was tiny, and beautiful, and just a little bit different than most newborns. Haley was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. Over the years, her lip has been made into one, her palate has been closed, tubes have been placed in her ears and her nose has been contoured more than once. Some people may notice her faint scars, but many don't. She is a beautiful little girl with big brown eyes that sparkle. She is intelligent, and creative and LOVES to talk. She is constantly talking... CONSTANTLY!

When Haley was first released from the hospital NICU, I was nervous to take her out into the public. I wanted to protect her, and I was afraid that people might make comments or stare. I had even bought a special carrier to conceal her little body- which I still feel ashamed for doing. Haley didn't let me use the carrier, in fact, she wanted nothing to do with it. She wanted to see the world, and in turn the world saw her. There were comments. Some people stared, some pointed. I expected that. What I didn't expect were the wonderful strangers who approached me to tell me just how beautiful my little baby was. For every naysayer, there seemed to be someone who could look past Haley's physical differences, and see a beautiful child of God. Their kindness made such a difference to me- these strangers will never know of the peace they gave to me.

Life has changed very much since those first few months before Haley's surgery. People no longer point or stare... but we still get approached quite often. Mostly by the senior citizens who want to tickle toes and get a toothy grins from the girls. Haley is always getting questions thrown her way- she answers, but often times the people (who always mean well) don't understand her. They usually turn to me... and I translate. This frustrates Haley tremendously.

Being born with a cleft palate has caused Haley's pronunciation to be unclear most of the time. This is a definite problem for a girl who would like nothing more than to talk your ear off! It makes me sad at times, because she has so many intelligent things to say, and she wants to say them. I try to keep in mind that her speech is a work in progress, and someday- hopefully soon- all will be able to understand her when she talks. She is progressing pretty well with her speech therapy, just not fast enough for that expanding mind of hers. :) I can't help but watch the frustration on her face when strangers question her.

But, just when I start to become frustrated myself, a kind stranger steps in...

Today while we were at the department store, I saw a lady watching Haley play with her little sister. From across the aisle she asked Haley a question about Kaitlyn. Haley gave one of her long winded answers. For once, the stranger didn't look at me for a translation. She repeated back exactly what Haley had said- word for word! I was absolutely amazed- that rarely happens for Haley. Haley's little face lit up (I'm certain mine did also) and the two of them continued to chat for a bit. The lady didn't stay for long, but she left long lasting smiles on both of our faces. It's amazing what a little bit of kindness can do to some one's day!

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And so, I have a little kindness challenge for you-

I know that it is human nature to be interested in people that are different. If you happen to find yourself staring, why not approach that person, and find out more about their situation. I know that I have always appreciated when people have asked me questions about Haley rather than staring or pointing. It is a great opportunity to educate, and be educated. If that is too much for you- at least smile at them! Your small act of kindness matters more than you may ever realize. Trust me!